A Gentle Breeze or a Hammer Blow
I’ve recently had the joy of starting wedding planning and while it is great fun, oh boy
does it take A LOT out of you.
Even though there are a lot of similarities between my fiance & I, we still do come from
two different cultures and so it’s fair to say that we have some different expectations
when it comes to the wedding day.
We’ve had to learn how to have a lot of patience to dig into the ‘whys’ of these
expectations: to find out what it is that makes us think that different aspects of the day
need to be a certain way.
“Why must the wedding top table be reserved for the couple’s family rather than the
bridesmaids & groomsmen?”
“Why do you need to invite your parents' friends who you haven’t even met?”
The list goes on and as you can imagine, not every conversation goes without hiccups…
As I reflect back on some of the heated conversations that blew out of proportion, and
as we move into this season reflecting on the fruit of the Spirit, I dwelt on these two
words: gentleness & peace. What does that look like in my life?
I felt God kindly nudge at how I react in conflicts.
When I’m anxious, feel unheard or feeling under pressure, my natural inclination isn’t to
gently express how I feel nor is it to create an atmosphere of peace.
Think about the last argument you’ve had? Hold that in mind and think about whether
you spoke with gentleness or could you relate more to the opposite of gentle
expression, which is — harsh, pushy, insistent, demanding, caustic, and argumentative.
Are you more likely to respond with gentleness or harshness?
And what was the atmosphere when the argument took place? Was it an unpeaceful
atmosphere? — hostile, chaotic, difficult or uncomfortable.
It's not hard to see which of these environments we foster when we’re upset or caught
off guard. And in fact, while we can clearly see the negatives of harsh behaviour, turning
to gentleness is rarely the first response either.
You see, I grew up with the misconception that being gentle meant being a pushover,
and if you were authoritative it never looked gentle, meek, and mild.
However, when God began to unpack it for me in my late teens, I discovered the truth of the spiritual
fruit of gentleness couldn’t be further away from my original understanding of it.
Gentleness is powerful.
It disarms conflict, brings peace, and creates an atmosphere of security and trust.
Gentleness and peace go hand-in-hand. In times of trouble or confusion, it can be so
easy to allow our anxious thoughts to affect everyone around us. If we allow
anxiousness to dominate us, gentleness and peacefulness are generally not what
others experience.
Instead, they see our irritability and stress. They hear our frustration, anger, and
perhaps our lack of hope. What we do with our anxiousness isn’t just about us; the way
we handle anxiousness not just impacts ourselves but also those around us. In fact,
anxiousness—just like frustration, anger, and fear—can be contagious.
But anxiousness isn’t the only thing that can be contagious, our gentle peace has that
same power. God wants us to bring our gentleness to our workplace, friends, family and
marriages so that we are able to love people with the tender love of God.
Tenderness allows our friendships and relationships to become vulnerable, safe and
peaceful. We can show gentleness in many ways— a sweet smile, a kind deed, a soft touch and
a caring tone of voice. We display gentleness and become peacemakers when we are
considerate, patient, understanding, forgiving and not easily offended or irritated.
We’ve already discussed how being gentle and peacemakers can be powerful, and
scripture continues to highlight the interaction between these two. In Isaiah 40:10 and
11 we read, “See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power …He tends his flock like
a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to his
heart” (NIV). In the same way, we can bring strength through gentleness, and through
our power, we can be gentle. Consider the ways of a mother with her child; she is the
one who scoops her child into her arms and hugs him tighter than tight, and this comes
from a place of loyal dedication and powerful desire for the wellbeing of her baby.
Let’s watch our friendships, relationships and marriages flourish as we practice being
more like the caress of a gentle breeze rather than the blows of a hammer.
Searching our hearts
1. Are there any circumstances in your life right now that threaten to steal your
peace? How can you purposefully fix your eyes on Jesus this week, instead of
fixating on your problems?
2. Think of the last time you lost control of your temper. How could you change your
response in the future?
Seeking God
Father God, I know we find ourselves creating hostile and uncomfortable situations
more often than we like. But thank you God that through you, we don’t have to settle for
it to be the norm. Today, we’re choosing to fix our eyes on You. Thank You for providing
Your timeless truths that prove to us over and over again how powerfully capable You
always are. With You by our side, we pray for the fruit of the Spirit to grow in us and for
us to gravitate to choose character over compromise at all cost. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.